I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It was like giving head to a cactus.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
