the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize