I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
please come you make the beer taste better
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
