But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize