Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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