I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
