Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
