Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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