There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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