it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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