So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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