Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
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She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
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I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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