i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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