ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You need Xanax blowdarts
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
