he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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