I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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