He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
