I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
