I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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