Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
