She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
