i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
