My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
