do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
