I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You ruined the universe
Randomize
