I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
