question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
