It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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