I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
