I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
