If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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