i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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