I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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