so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
