how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
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Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
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