This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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