why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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