my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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