If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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