I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
