she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm passing your future prison.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
