i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
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There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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