id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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