Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
