i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
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SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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