It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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