her vagine was all disorganized.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
