Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
