It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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