just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So many bounce houses so little time
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
