so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
