First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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