Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
