Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize